Indonesia: Life In The Islands

An Indonesian Tale of Assault and Revenge

This is a story about monkeys.

Once upon a time, there was a woman named Monica Kunkel. She was very smart and cautious and she always vaccinated her children against diseases, valid or not (Japanese encephalitis, anyone?). She was scared of contracting rabies.

But then one day, Monica and her family went to Indonesia. While there, they visited a beautiful town named Ubud. One of the main tourist attractions in Ubud is the Ubud Sacred Monkey Forest Sanctuary.

Relaxing outside this self-proclaimed "sanctuary," Monica let down her guard. A little too much. Her daughter Caitlin, who had seen the other monkeys in Indonesia and knew they often attacked for no reason and were hateful, dirty creatures, saw that a monkey was climbing on the branches right above her and Monica's head. Caitlin, acting wisely in terms of her own self-interest but perhaps selfishly when it came to her mother's, immediately ran away from the monkey. Monica, unaware, sat and smiled.

Then the monkey jumped down next to Monica, his eyes on the bottle of Aqua water next to her. Monica turned, saw a large monkey sitting next to her, and smiled. The monkey bared his teeth and snared. Hoping to avoid confrontation, Monica turned and faced front again.

Now her husband, Larry Kunkel, saw his woman being threatened and picked up his briefcase, preparing to nail the monkey in the head. In the meantime, the monkey, mistaking Monica's look for one of thirst and wanting to protect his bottle of water, lunged toward her and bit the side of her polo shirt. Monica remained calm, and in fact seemed not to realize she was being bitten by a wild monkey in Indonesia. Caitlin, knowing she had had her rabies shots and was thus immune to this danger, laughed and took a photo. Emily and Grace yelled. The European tourists and Indonesians lounging around said nothing and looked away.

Perhaps menaced by Larry heaving his briefcase, the monkey let go of Monica's shirt without puncturing her flesh. He grabbed the water bottle and proceeded to drink it a safe distance away, glaring at the Kunkels. Caitlin kept laughing and taking pictures; Emily and Grace kept yelling; Larry became flustered; but Monica stayed very calm. Only when the news was broken that the monkey had in fact been biting her did she seem disturbed. But, she was unharmed (her shirt, however, was covered with monkey teeth marks and dirty saliva) and the Kunkels vowed never to go to the Monkey Forest again.


Except that's not the end. Wanting to seek revenge for my mother, I went to the Monkey Forest on the 2nd, the day after my family went home. Against my better judgement I bought bananas at the front gate, although Layne had warned me not to.

Less than three minutes after I entered the forest, a large monkey attacked the man in front of me, tearing his bag from his hands. Although I couldn't be sure, his bold and reckless behavior led me to believe that this was, in fact, the same primate who had dared to assault my mother.

I think he may have recognized me as well. Seconds after destroying the shopping bag of the Dutchman in front of me, he turned and charged toward me. I threw a banana at him, hoping he would be placated. He kept coming. I threw the entire bunch at him, hitting him in the chest. That slowed him down a little but he continued running at me, and I started to scream. Then the monkey climbed up my legs and chest, and I could only assume that he was going for the jugular. Fortunately I was holding my camera in my hand and punched him in the face as he reached my neck. He fell backwards onto the ground.

At this point, tourists were staring and taking pictures. The Dutchman sympathized with me and gave me more bananas. I should have been the bigger person; I should have just moved on. But instead I turned and yelled at the insolent monkey, who was guarding my fallen bananas, "You stupid monkey JERK."

I kid you not, that monkey understood. He immediately took off for me again. I had turned to run when an Indonesian "Monkey Forest Employee," a.k.a. a man wearing a dirty blue shirt, intervened. I assumed he had some strategies to calm the monkey, which I guess in a way, he did. He simply kicked the monkey in the chest and sent him flying into the forest.

I was briefly concerned for the monkey's health. After all, he was supposed to be sacred. But he got up right away and sat sullenly off the path, chastised. I turned to the Indonesian man, fearing a rebuke. But he just laughed.

"Monyet gila!" he said happily. Yes, I agreed, dusting off my shirt and straightening my hair, that was one crazy monkey.

posted by Caitlin @ 2:21 PM