Indonesia: Life In The Islands

Sometimes We Need to Filter Our Thoughts...

While on vacation, I enjoyed the usual—good food, some spirits, a general malaise that prohibited exercise. I probably put on about three pounds MAXIMUM, nothing I won’t lose when I contract my next virus from eating the street food.

I walked into the teacher’s room yesterday armed with seaweed candy and the proper vocabulary to discuss my travels. Before I could say a word, however, three or four teachers ran up to me and exclaimed in delight over how incredibly fat I had gotten on vacation.

“So fat, so happy!” One of them said. Another attempted to pinch my “fat” cheek (which she couldn’t do) and said, “yes, very fat now, more beautiful!” The other teachers in the room nodded in contentment at the sight of my fat face.

They warned us in Jakarta that people will use the word “fat” to mean “healthy”—but damn, walking into a room of people who haven’t seen you in three words and being called a fattie is NOT a good way to come off a great vacation. I sat in the corner and sulked for a while, and then these two ridiculous conversations occurred:

1) Continuing the topic of my obesity and its relationship to my beauty, Ibu Dina and Ibu Dia (yes that’s right, almost the same name—there’s also Dino, Dwi, Dito, and Dio) sat down now to me.

Ibu Dia: I think you are much more beautiful now that you are fat.
Ibu Dina: Oh, no, she is not beautiful now, her nose is red (sunburned)
Ibu Dia: But I think because she is fat it is OK.
Ibu Dina: No, I think much less beautiful with the dark skin, even though fatter.
Ibu Dia: Yes maybe when she is white and fat, she will be most beautiful

I was sitting right next to these women as they had this conversation, in English. Disgruntled and fearing my fat fist was about to go into their faces, I turned to my left to talk to Pak Yosuf, one of the other English teachers. He is endlessly fascinated with Americans in general, and often asks questions like, “but I thought Americans hated dark skinned people, how can you like us?” He said he had another question for me.

Pak Yosuf: So Caitlin, if I meet a friend, a very close friend, who I haven’t seen for a long time, would it be polite if I said to him, “I have a very good bitch at home?”
Me: (spitting out water) Like, a very good dog?
PY: No, like my wife. A very good bitch.
Me: Um, you’re not really supposed to refer to your wife as your bitch.
PY: But I see it on TV. Maybe that is how truckers talk?
Me: Yeah, I guess a trucker might say that. Bitch is a bad word, why would you call your wife a bitch?
PY: Just talking to my friend, joking about my bitch.
Me: Yeah…well I guess that’s OK then.

WHERE DO THEY GET THESE IDEAS???

posted by Caitlin @ 10:40 PM